I just sat and watched as the Account Manager furtively unfolded his paperclip, used it as a toothpick and then refolded it to clasp a pile of papers he then handed to his boss.

Charles de Gaulle’s final words were, “It hurts.”

When my aunts were visiting, I was astounded to discover that they both have similar recurring dreams that I have about killing people with our own hands. The difference is that I only kill strangers in self-defense whereas they tend to murder family members in cold blood!

Saturn is the only planet that could float on water.

To “testify” was based on men in the Roman court swearing to a statement made by swearing on their testicles.

Remember those black rubber bracelets Madonna used to wear by the armload I believe circa Borderline? Back in the 80’s when she came out wearing those, my friend had to have some. We had no idea where to get such a thing in our small town, so we went to the car mechanics who sold us some rubber gaskets for like a dollar a piece! I still wear one and have only taken it off once since the Reagan administration and I never even liked Madonna.

Explore posts in the same categories: Uncategorized


  1. I just walked past someone enjoying a coffee at our local coffee place with a whole bunch of black bands on her wrist. I think they were leather though. It looked cool.

  2. poopiebitch Says:

    The paperclip toothpick thing simultaneously amused and disgusted me.

  3. Dan Says:

    Wow. I completely forgot that I used to have crazy stressful dreams in which I was trying to cover up the deaths of a bunch of people – until now. I guess I’m not as stressed out anymore. Or maybe I’m stressed out enough in real life that I don’t have to get stressed out in my dreams. Or maybe I’ve done a really good job of hiding the bodies and I can just relax.

  4. madwag Says:

    I never got a black rubber bracelet :o( But I do have a toe ring that I got almost 20 years ago at the Laguna Beach Saw Dust Festival… it is so thin now it just looks like a gold wire.

    I think you should tell that guy that you saw him do that w/ the paper clip…ha ha ha.

    My dreams are so much better than my reality. Last night I had a dream that my best friend Sherrie and I were driving a school bus (all that was true…we are best friends and we drove school busses) but then our butts started to itch and we decided that some kid gave us pin worms and we needed to get some medicine… (that part is not factual…it was made up in my strange mind). I never kill people but I can sure kick some ass…like kung fu style kick ass…. awesome!

    Is that a tattoo on your wrist??!! I want it.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: