Archive for February 2009

Ritual is the spark that must not go out

February 26, 2009










Being fat


Being a loser in grade school


Past sexual partners







My son


My dead mother










Here comes a strange cargo

February 20, 2009

This morning was an experiment in seeing if I could wear all my different hats at once.  I got up extra early, threw some clothes on myself and some on the kid and drove the husband to his oral surgery appointment.  I then drove back home to throw some new clothes onto the kid since his previous outfit was soiled in an accidental diaper explosion.  Run to daycare drop off; run to work; kick ass for a few hours until I get the call that husband is done with surgery & needs a ride home.  I run out of work; pick up hubs; drop him off at home with a nice blanket, pillow and remote control, run back out to the store to buy massive quantities of soft foods that he will be eating for the next six weeks; unload and put away groceries; fix him a smoothie; then run back to work.  I did all this with a good attitude because the sun is out and it is Friday.  It all turned black when upon getting back to the parking garage at work, there were no parking spaces left.  I got into a shouting match with a lady in a giant SUV who parked in a compact space and was blocking my exit. “Your car is too big!” I shouted through my open window. The garage attendant told me to just park in one of the handicapped spaces, which I did with an odd fear of getting caught.  Then I happened to ride up in the elevator with the woman I had just shrieked at only to feel horrible when I see her little daughter was with her.  To more annoyance, my coworker who was covering for me turned off my office light so it would look like I was gone for the day, even though she knew I would be back.  Now I am just letting the sun streaming through my office window soak into my head while I don another hat and write about it for the Internet.


Yelling at the lady in the car park is not really my style.  I am shy and, sometimes to my own detriment, can be on the passive side.  It takes a lot for me to scream at strangers although this is the 3rd time I have done so in 10 days.  Last week I yelled at someone for using the choke chain on their dog too aggressively and last night I yelled at a couple of teenage parents.  They were crossing the street with their baby in one of those flimsy umbrella strollers, when the dad pushed the strolled on ahead of him and let go as it plowed into the curb obviously jarring the youngster.  The dad made a last ditch effort to grab it before it tipped over, but the scene was disturbing, especially seeing the mother have absolutely zero reaction.  I asked if the baby was OK and then yelled at them to be more careful with such fragile cargo.  I glared at them as they walked all the way down the street, with a sense I should call the cops.  The incident was minor, but it gave me a feeling of dread for this poor kid’s future.


As a commuter, I spend a lot of time on the freeway and see something interesting almost everyday.  There is always the lady putting on mascara in her rearview mirror while driving at top speed and once I saw a lady weaving wildly out of control only to see she was brushing her hair.  I see drunk drivers constantly, even at 8:00 in the morning.  This morning, during my first trek into work, a guy behind me changed into my lane a little too close to my rear bumper.  He looked familiar, so I kept looking back to see if I knew him.  Just when I ascertained that I in fact did not know him, another person just randomly changed lanes right into this guy’s car.  No one was hurt, but the traffic was going to start piling up behind them as I zipped along to work, glad to be that much further along.


February 14, 2009

♥     TO HIMSELF!   ♥



February 12, 2009

When I went to get Finn up this morning, I noticed he was soaking wet, which is an unusual occurrence; his diaper must have sprung a pee leak.  I stripped him of his jammies & diaper, put a blanket over the wet spot in his crib and let him sit in there nude with a bottle of milk.  I figured the sheet was already wet & needed changing, so if he peed some more, no biggie.  I had to get ready for work, so I went into the bathroom to put in my contacts when I heard him make a funny exclamation.  I figured he did pee, but I finished putting in my contacts before investigating.  When I went back into his room, I was flabbergasted by the vision:


He totally pooped in his crib! 


I don’t know why I did not think of this scenario when I let him sit in there diaperless.  It has never happened before, but then it is his custom to do a morning BM, so DUH!   He was standing at the foot of the crib, away from the grossness.  Surprisingly there was very little on him, even his butt.  There was an odd stripe off poo on his belly, a little on his hands and the tiniest dot on his…UPPER LIP!  AAAH!  There was, however, poop smeared all over his crib, sheets, blankets, crib bumper & worst of all gooped all over the full bottle of milk with a disgusting dollop directly on the nipple.  I just threw the whole bottle away.  It was a smelly horror show!  His favorite stuffed sock puppy that he sleeps with somehow escaped the scene of carnage; it appears Finn had tossed him out to safety.


Needless to say, I was late for work for the 3rd straight day in row.



February 10, 2009

We had to drive through a back roads area to get to this particular border crossing.  We were surrounded by farm lands and winding country roads.  A bald eagle flew over us and perched heavily in a tree just as the sun broke from behind the clouds and lit up all the lush grasses.  I pointed out a passing train to Finn and was overcome with a rare feeling of contentment.  I had a small kink in my shoulder, but knew the weekend spent at the Harrison Hot Springs resort would whittle away all my knots and cricks.  They have 5 hot spring pools of varying degrees and I had been looking forward to the birthday getaway for months. 


I am always a little nervous about crossing the border, but it is usually crossing back into the USA when the trouble occurs.  I have never once been asked more than 3 questions by the Canadian border guards and it was going just as smoothly this time around until instead of being told to drive ahead to enjoy our weekend, we were given a yellow slip and told to park and go inside.  Finn and I waited in the car while Sasha went in to get things sorted.  He forgot to roll the window back up and did not leave the keys, so as we waited it got colder and colder and we waited and waited.  I kept seeing other people come and go.  They were clearly going through customs to declare purchases and what not, so I could not figure out what was taking Sasha so long and I could not leave the car and investigate with the window rolled down on our fully packed car.  Finn finally started to protest so much sitting still, so I bundled him up to walk around the car for a stretch. 


Thirty minutes had passed before Sasha came back out and said: “Well, it looks like we are not going to Canada”.  WHAT??  He vaguely explained that there was something popping up on his record that should not be there, but until it got sorted out, he could not enter Canada.  “Well, I am still going!” I practically screamed.  I grabbed Finn and went inside to have the border people better explain to me what was going on and to plead with them not to ruin my birthday.  There had to be something they could do.  “…but it is my birthday!!!” apparently is not a good enough reason to let us in, because they would not budge.  Sasha had a youthful indiscretion on his record from almost 25 years ago that was supposed to be expunged, but for some reason that part was not showing up.  The border recently updated their systems in preparation for the Olympics that will be held in Whistler next year, but the system is no good if the records are not properly updated.  Sasha has been over the Canadian border literally hundreds of times before with no problem, but was suddenly red flagged this particular time.  I do not know why this had to happen on my special weekend and I could not help but be thoroughly upset by the circumstances.  We had to sit for an hour in border traffic just to cross back over the US side of the border and they made us get out of the car and go through the hassle all over again.  Defeated, we started the drive back home, after already spending the entire day in the car with no reward.  I half looked for a hotel with a pool in the local area, but was just not feeling it by this point.  Sasha called his lawyer friend to try and figure this thing out and I still have a kink in my neck.


February 4, 2009

November was the “Post Everyday” challenge.  December was the “Deal with Snow Everyday” challenge.  January was the “Eat no sugar or foods that act like sugar” challenge.  For the entire month of January, I was essentially sugar free.  This is a great feat for someone like me with a massive sugar dependency.  I recruited my sister, my niece and my aunt and we worked as a support team and also a confessionary when we slipped a time or two.  I started out strong and was solid for 15 whole days and then I took a bad slip.  We had a cookie platter brought in for a staff meeting and there is just something about a free cookie that I cannot resist.  Since I had one cookie, why not eat another since I already blew it?  I took a bad tumble that day, but I was able to pick myself back up and start anew and got to the end of the month without further incident. 


Then I celebrated with cake. 


This is OK, because it was my own birthday cake.  My birthday is not until tomorrow, but we celebrated early by going out to dinner with friends.  I had preordered my own cake from a gourmet bakery to bring to the restaurant (Chocolate fudge cake with dark chocolate mousse filling and orange butter crème frosting).  I dorked out in a big way by picking a restaurant that did not accept reservations.  I did not think it would be a big deal to get a table, what with the recession and all, but they said they could not get our large group in for TWO HOURS!  If half of us did not have kids this would not have been that big of a deal, but we could not just hang out in the bar and the babies had a curfew.  Thus began the mad scramble to find a new place; luckily I have a good set of friends that did not give me shit for the blunder and were willing to drive all over town looking for a new venue.  I was slightly depressed by this new wrinkle, because earlier I had studied the restaurants menu online and already decided I would get two Mai Tai’s, the Goat Cheese toast appetizer and the Pesto Salmon for dinner.  The one thing that kept me calm was knowing the cake was in the car and that everything would be OK, even if we had to eat it right there in the parking lot.  Luckily we found a pizza place that could fit us all in right away, which actually saved a good bit of dough.  They did not serve cocktails, so my celebratory drink was a pink chardonnay.  When it came time to eat the cake, I actually felt a peculiar sense of calm wash over me.


I am not sure what type of Challenge February will bring, but maybe something like the: “Try Not to be such a Goof Every Single Day” challenge.