My song will sit in the pupils of your eyes, and will carry your sight into the heart of things.

When I start to get frustrated with Sasha, I have to remember what he did for me and what he is going through.  This is also the story of how Thanksgiving will never be the same for us.


Last year, the day before Thanksgiving, Sasha’s Dad, Henry, had a massive stroke.  He lives in Wisconsin, so we were only getting information bits at a time via phone calls with different members of the family.  Our baby Finn was barely two months old and really only slightly past his original due date.  We continued with our plans for Thanksgiving dinner.  We got some good news, Henry was conscious and able to lift his hand, but could not yet move his fingers.  We were trying to figure out when Sasha should head home to Wisconsin to be with his family.  It was a difficult decision, because Sasha wanted Finn & I to go with him, but since we had no idea what was happening, it was impossible to think about uprooting this tiny little infant and bringing him to unknown territory where we did not even know what to pack for him or how long we would be away.  On that Friday Henry took a turn for the worse, his brain was swelling, he was in a coma, it did not look good.  It was decided that Sasha would go on his own, so he left the next day.  Henry died 10 minute before Sasha got to the hospital.  He was only 66 years old.


The funeral was planned for one week later.  Finn & I needed to be there.  As much as I did not want to travel with a newborn, I knew it was important for Henry’s grandchild to be present.  Finn would be a healing salve to the mourning family, especially to Sasha’s mother who was going through hell (Sasha’s mother, Jerre, had shattered her leg in a freak accident only weeks before and her own mother had also just died.  In fact, Henry died on the same day as Jerre’s Mother’s funeral). 


I was terrified.  I have very little practice with babies and traveling with one by myself was a really frightening idea. As much as I wish I was strong enough and up to the challenge, it was just too much.  That is when Sasha did the unthinkable.  Nursing his own broken heart, he left his grieving family, flew all the way back to Seattle and came and got us.  I will never forget that selfless gesture and how much love he showed for us.  We did the best we could to pack what we though Finn would need.  We bought him a tiny baby snow suit, packed up bottles of breast milk and off we went.  The day we arrived, there was a big snow storm and about a foot of snow fell.  We had a bon fire for Henry and the snow and fire mixed with all the human emotion and family love was one of the most beautiful things I have ever witnessed.



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4 Comments on “My song will sit in the pupils of your eyes, and will carry your sight into the heart of things.”

  1. hambox Says:

    Oh, what a beautiful story. Something about the “tiny baby snow suit” did it for me completely. What a great family, there for each other always. Finn has great parents and will learn to be an extraspecial human, too, thanks to you.

  2. teranika Says:

    You look so lovely and happy together in that photo. A wonderful story of togetherness. I hope that Sasha is holding up okay this Thanksgiving, and able to remember the very best things about his dad, and how he lives on in Finn.

  3. madwag Says:

    oh man…. you made me cry again. xoxox

  4. Kim Says:

    This entry is making me cry… What a good story, and beautiful photo… I am so happy you & Sasha both met someone equally so beautiful and kind; and what a lucky little boy you have too! ..

    I feel the same way about Tom sometimes too (not exactly the same kind of story, but you know what I mean)… But the things he has gone through and done for me, sometimes I wonder why he is with me…

    I also remember that when he IRRITATES the crap out of my sometimes!! God he annoys me sometimes!! But…!!

    He has done so much, so many kind things for me… It is so hard to love someone so much as I love my Tom, I could almost break in half most every day I think about him.

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