THINGS I KNOW

People are weird, every single one of us.

 

Fame and fortune will warp you.

 

Sugar is the enemy.

 

It is impossible to lick your elbow.

 

The brain is fragile.

 

Gas leaks are bad.

 

Time is capable of moving both in haste and deliberately slow.

 

Time does heal, but may leave debilitating scar tissue.

 

Vitamin E oil is good for getting rid of planter’s warts.

 

Death sucks.

 

Birth is pretty fucking cool.

 

You were right when you were a kid when you thought that adults do not know anything.

 

People don’t like it when you talk about smoking being super bad for you.

 

Life wants to live.

 

The earth will survive us, but will be glad to be rid of us.

 

For all the amazing stuff mankind has created over the years, we can be so dumb.

 

Some people are toxic.  Avoid them.

 

The Internet rules.

 

Tell the truth.

 

Karo syrup gets out grass stains.

 

The soul does go on after the host body poops out.

 

Non-dairy creamer is flammable.

 

Humor helps.

 

Less is not necessarily more.

 

Bananas are a good source of vitamin C, potassium and dietary fiber.

 

Don’t rub your eye, even if it itches.

 

It is OK to grow old naturally.

 

We are lucky.

 

Honey does not spoil.

 

How Find the Bathroom in Five Languages:

Spanish: ¿Dónde está el baño?
French: Où sont les toilettes?
Japanese: Toire wa doko desu ka?
Swahili: Choo kiko wapi?
Klingon: nuqDaq ‘oH puchpa’ ‘e’?

 

No matter how much Jell-o you put in a swimming pool you still can’t walk on water.

 

Umbrellas do not make good parachutes

 

There is a very fine line between “hobby” and “mental illness.”

 

If you pee on your feet, it kills the fungus.

 

Cockroaches can live for 9 days after their head has been cut off.

 

It does not matter what other people think about you.

 

I really do not know all that much.

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3 Comments on “THINGS I KNOW”

  1. Eleanor Says:

    “Non-dairy creamer is flammable.” I did not know this. I ought to try it sometime. It fits right in with your recent pyromaniac post.

  2. Desirée Says:

    “Hvor er toilettet?”

  3. Kim Says:

    People ARE so weird…. (And why I like that second-to-last one too!!)


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