I am off sugar these days other than these 3 exceptions: 1. Celebrations.  If it is your birthday, I am eating a piece of your birthday cake.  2. Halloween.  There is no fucking way I am going to have a giant bowl of mini chocolate bars sitting near the front door without partaking in a few. 3. Going to the movies.  Pop corn & Junior Mints totally enhance the movie going experience, which is very rare in and of itself for me these days.


When Sasha said he was going to kick back and watch the Sunday morning football game before going off to his side job, I had a light bulb moment.  This would be a perfect chance for me to run off and see a movie; he could easily watch the baby and the Packers at the same time.  I am a movie freak and BF (before Finn) used to see pretty much everything that came out, so it is something I miss.  The best I could find was a 10:00 am showing of ‘Zach and Miri Make a Porno’.  I paused because 10:00 am is too early for Junior Mints, and it just would not be the same without a giant box.  Then I remembered the whole Fall Back tweakiness with daylight savings and it would actually be 11:00 am to my tummy, a perfectly normal time for handful of sugar followed by salty popped corn.


It was a brilliant plan.  The Freeway was free and clear and I had my choice of parking spaces at that hour.  I paid the $6.00 matinee fee and $13.75 for a small diet coke, Medium popcorn and giganto box of Junior Mints.  Surprisingly, there was at least a dozen other people there for the early show. 


I did not have very high hopes for the movie.  I used to really like the director, Kevin Smith.  Clerks, Mallrats, Chasing Amy & Dogma are all enjoyable, but after that he seemed to just fall into really sordid and lame territory.  Plus, I used to read his blog and it was funny to hear him talking about jerking off constantly and titty fucking his wife, but after the zillionth time it just got weird.


Anyway, Zach and Miri was not great, but not horrible either.  It is about two total losers who make a Porn to earn money to pay the bills & then they fall in love.  It was worth it just to see the costumes they came up with for their version of Star Whores with Dayglo Penis Light Sabers.  Also, I guess it was worth it to see Jason Mewes (the guy who played Jay in Clerks) naked with a close up shot of his balls hanging low while lighted nicely by the open refrigerator door.









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  1. Becky Says:

    That movie sounds like class personified! Genius plan as to the movie going experience. I will have to try that. Nice to know that it takes a zillion mentions exactly for you to tire of jerking off and titty fucking stories. A good yardstick.

  2. Violet xoxox Says:

    The biggest perk — perhaps the ONLY real perk — of being a grown-up is that there is no time of day that’s the wrong time of day for Junior Mints. Or cupcakes. Or pie. Or cotton candy.

    That’s about the only thing I was right about in childhood: “When I grow up, I can eat cookies for breakfast if I want to, and no one can stop me!” It’s a pretty regular occurence in our house that we’ll come home from the market to prepare dinner, and I’ll say “I sure would like to try some of that ice cream,” and Kim’ll say, “You can do that,” and I’ll say, “I CAN do that!” So I do do that. Me, I have the power! Suck it, Mom and Dad.

  3. Desirée Says:

    Cloudy! I’m shocked you even have such words in your vocabulary! Junior Mints! In the morning! What’s happening to you?

  4. eliashuckleberry Says:

    ah ha! thus the mentioned sugar haze. have you seen how on regular network tv they advertise the movie sans ‘make a porno’?

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