Lake Huron rolls, Superior sings

Nothing is right about me today.  My hair is a disaster, my tennis shoes do not go with my striped dress pants and my blue swirled with green boat neck top does not match anything.  To make matters worse, my top is too big in an uncomfortable and unflattering way and keeps exposing my bra straps.  It is so bad it is messing with my self-esteem and I almost spent an hour on a commute home to change or to even just get under the covers and stay there.   Instead I ran out of my office, speed-walked 10 blocks to Old Navy, clutching at my exposed shoulders along the way, and purchased a hideous midnight blue velour hoody for $19.  I have not worn velour since 1976 when it was in fashion for 5 minutes and then quickly became a dirty word.  Somehow it works, though, to pull the pants together with the shoes and the brisk walk in the damp air curled my hair into a more passable style for the day.  Phew!

 

No, I do not have PMS, but I do have Pre-PMS.

 

I keep seeing this photograph on Facebook as an add for this photography website, and I have to say, it freaks me the fuck out.  Is it supposed to be cute?  Here is your baby IN A BAG!  Ick.

 

 

Hugh Hefner and Holly Madison broke up.  If those two crazy kids can’t make it, there is no hope for the rest of us!

 

I have been on a Memoir kick for the last 5 years; it seems the marriage of heartbreaking and humorous true tales are what I like best.  I will occasionally throw some Fiction into my repertoire, but I always return to the record of real life.  Must be why I love the personal blogs so much.  

 

I have officially lost 10 pounds since I have been off sugar (it only took 3 months!).  I can now fit into my “Fat Jeans” an not just my “Very Fat Jeans”.  I got rid of the “Skinny Jeans” long ago.

 

I closed my eyes and said a little prayer as I clicked on my 401(k) quarterly report.  This was a very bad idea.  Now not even velour can save this day.

 

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9 Comments on “Lake Huron rolls, Superior sings”

  1. For-Tart Says:

    How about terry cloth? Can terry cloth help us in any way? I’ll try anything!

  2. Becky Says:

    Good stuff. Cheers to velour and jeers to bag o baby.

    I have been on a non-fiction (and mostly memoir kick) for the same amount of time as thee. Some notable autobiographies/memoirs: L. Bacall, S. Winters (she slept with *everybody*), P. Des Barres (I’m With the Band – juicy stuff), A. Burroughs (Dry, Running with Scissors), the imagined memoir of Pretty Boy Floyd by L. McMurtry, M. Diectrich’s daughter’s tell-all, anything written by/about the V. Sackville-West/V. Woolf/H. Nicolson/V. Tresfusis love quadrangle.

  3. Eleanor Says:

    One day you will be looking in your closet for those skinny jeans and wished you’d saved them. Then you’ll be sorry!

  4. meredith Says:

    baby-in-a-bag!

    The very very best memoir books I have read are the ones by Helen Forrester starting with Twopence to Cross the Mercy.
    Seriously read them! These books are the best for days like today. They are funny and terribly sad and her life was so hard that it makes me grateful for everything that I have.

    Also, I have around 5 velour hoodies in various colours. I wonder when I liked them and I don’t know what to do with them…

  5. Sharnee Says:

    That pic of the baby in a bag is WEIRD! I originally thought it was some kind of ultrasound pic or something, but baby in a bag? Very odd. That bag is not a toy.

    Well done on the sugar free diet – I really am very impressed that you’ve been able to do it for that long!

    And velour! It makes me think of J-Lo – didn’t she wear something like that once?

  6. Whystinger Says:

    Congrats on the 10 pound loss! Too bad about Hef breaking up… shame on that old goat banging someone young enough to be his granddaughter or great-granddaughter… or maybe good for him.

  7. madwag Says:

    yes… first off…big congrats on the 10lb loss!!!!
    I have thrown away each and every piece of clothing that made me feel like crap and or looked like crap on me for the very reason what your shirt did to you… that happened to me more times than I like to admit. I looked up the baby in a bag… it does disturb me to look at it… creepy! I am into the perils of Amy Winehouse at the moment… and George Michael… mostly because they are always in the news here in the UK.
    I feel like shit today… I took a nap this morning and I am going to the gym w/ my friend but I don’t want to!!! I also have to go to work after that… bleh… I think I have a cold coming on or something, I just want to go to bed and stay there all day long!!! Here is to wishing us both feeling better and soon! Love ya face… xoxoxoxo

  8. Kimberly Says:

    I don’t know, I think the baby in the bag is a good idea. If people dropped off their kids on Wednesday nights for daycare in bags? Awesomeness. And stop looking at the 401k, no good can come of it. After I looked at mine, I decided the best thing to do would be to go spend $200 at Target. . . because that makes sense.

  9. Kim Says:

    I am on a memoir kick too, all of a sudden!! Right now I am reading about Edna St. Vincent Millay, and the latest autobiography by Lauren Bacall… I just finished Steve Martin’s latest memoir too.

    Congrats on the weight loss, that is a lot! Must feel good. I hope you are having a good weekend (velour-less)!!


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