I have changed.  10 years ago I was living on a futon in the world’s smallest studio apartment.  I still used milk crates as a makeshift dresser and pretty much only ever cooked spaghetti or ate cereal for dinner.  I had no cares in the world other than getting to work on time and playing Frisbee in the park when it was nice outside.  I would drink heavily on the weekends and had little concern for my own personal safety.


Suddenly I am a Mom and finding myself pouring over Pottery barn for Kids catalogues and actually finding the contents “cute”.  My coworker brought his 4 children to work, including his infant baby boy and I was fawning and coochicooing and making silly faces at the older kids as opposed to hiding in my office like I used to do whenever young folk were present.  I beam at pregnant women on the street or wave at the toddler in the passing stroller.


I have to admit, it is a bizarre feeling to be peering into my son’s crib in the middle of the night, watching him peacefully sleep when I suddenly burst into tears at the enormity and the beauty of it all.  When I get to hug him and hold him close, I thank the universe for giving me something so precious.  I kiss his warm little head and look on in awe as I watch him grow and learn and crawl and stand.  Soon he will be walking and talking and it blows my mind just thinking about all these little things that I never, ever cared about before, but now see them for what they really are: true phenomenon.


See this sweet little face?  It changed my life.



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12 Comments on “MY REASON”

  1. hissandtell Says:

    Just lovely, lovely, lovely. Oh, how I ADORE little kids in denim dungarees and plaid shirts — even a childless old hag like me wants to scoop them up and squeeze them until their eyes pop! Love, R xxx

  2. Eleanor Says:

    Wow! What a beautiful entry. I’m like you in that I never really liked children before I had my own. In fact, I never really liked other people’s children even after I had my own. But now that my own children are grown, I find myself coohicooing over babies too. What the hell?

  3. Sharnee Says:

    Oh that was very beautiful! Babies have always been the worlds biggest mystery to me (I never really thought much about them). I’m very excited to share in your joy here as I know I will be experiencing my own soon enough. But… how I am going to deal with two at once, I have no idea.

    ps: your son is so damn cute! What a sweetheart!

  4. Desirée Says:

    Yep. I’m with you on that one!

  5. sbellem Says:

    Oh so sweet. What a great update!!!

  6. Whystinger Says:

    Wow! What a beautiful entry. The first paragraph could have described my life oh, 27 years ago…

  7. webmiss Says:

    Oh how adorable. I read your post today and it made tears come to my eyes because Bert is so grown up, and I remember the days you are describing fondly. Time passes too quickly. *sniff* I need to go give my baby a hug!!

  8. madwag Says:

    life is weird… same thing happened to me… I wonder what is going to happen when I become a grandma… right now I don’t think I would like being one… but I bet that will all change someday

  9. Acorn Says:

    What a miracle he is! Is he still a redhead? He looks kinda blonde in the picture…

  10. LJ Says:

    Life is strange sometimes. Just when we think we’ve got it all figured out …. it takes unique and interesting turns. What a beautiful boy!

  11. Kim Says:

    I think about that a lot too, I had similar experiences myself in the past, and now everything is so different for me… (Yet of course, I do not have a baby, so that is not *exactly* the same now for me.) But it is strange to think about sometimes.

    God, all I know him from are your photos, and I can still see him growing bigger all the time!! (I want to say “wow he’s getting so big!!” but I don’t even know him, haha!) I just adore him (& you) anyway. So there.

    (LOVE those overalls!)

  12. Ohell Says:

    Wow. You have a beautiful boy. Times have changed! Miss you at the Diaryqueen.

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