In the bulk food section at the grocery store, I noticed that they had an array of sugar-free chocolate candy.  I never tried them before but thought I would give it a go and then selected chocolate covered malt balls.  I put my little plastic baggie over the spouting thing, but when I pulled the lever, only half the chocolates that fell ended up in my bag and the other half ended up on the display.  I started nervously scooping them up and then I noticed they also had sugar-free chocolate covered caramels.  I instinctively put my bag around the mouth of the container and poured some of those in there as well.  It was then that I realized that the caramels were $3.00 more per pound than the malt balls and I began to worry.  They were both round in shape, but a slightly different color and size, so the cashier could tell I had two different items in there if he really felt like checking, but I decided no one with half a life would care.


Sure enough I get up to the cash register and the guy totally busts me.  He weighed half the bag at the higher rate and the other half at the lower rate and was nice enough about it, but I still felt like a schmuck.  I did not apologize.


Karma came racing after me, though, because apparently sugar free candy has a hydrogenated form of carbohydrate called sugar alcohols which is an incompletely digestible substances (such as dietary fiber), consumption of sugar alcohols can lead to bloating, diarrhea and flatulence because they are not absorbed in the small intestine. In other words, I ate too much POOP CANDY!

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8 Comments on “BELLY ACHING”

  1. LJ Says:

    This was not a fun lesson to learn. I bet you’ll think twice before you do bulk anything again. Stay away from Chocolate free Chocolates (in other words – carob). That stuff is nasty.

  2. Eleanor Says:


  3. pantrypuff Says:

    Ew. But I do love me some chocolate maltballs. Yes I do.

  4. urbancadence Says:

    Hahahaha!!!! Awwww, I’m sorry! But this is a funny story!!! 😀

    Hey, there ya go – that’s how you’re gonna kick your sugar cravings!

  5. LannyLee Says:

    Urgh – that sucks!

    I would’ve done the same though, I do love Malteasers!

  6. madwag Says:

    OMG… what a fart head the cashier was… (rolling my eyes!)

    That sucks about the poop candy… I get the same thing if I chew too much sugar free gum… so I reckon the same would happen w/ sugarfree chocolates as well… thanks for the warning

  7. Sharnee Says:

    ooh, what a savy worker to have noticed!
    the other day I got chicken breasts at frankfurt prices (crazy cheap!) and thought I was a hero even though I only saved about $3.

    Also, I forgot to say that I’ve been reading yr diary since diaryland but I don’t know if I’ve ever commented before. It only took some 21 jump street talk to get me out of the hole.

  8. sbellem Says:

    Girl…we are so alike at times! I made this mistake as well. Bought diabetic candy for gramps when we went garage saleing together and wound up pooping my pants on the road!!!! AGH!!!

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