HISTORY OF AN ADDICT

My brother was just diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes. This is my wake up call that if I don’t make some big changes, I will be next. I am off sugar once again, people, this time for good (fingers crossed). This week’s addition of fun with flashbacks is my account of my history with addiction:

When I was about 4 years old, I wandered over to the neighbors’ house and asked to borrow some maple syrup. I then proceeded to hide in their bushes and DRINK the bottle of syrup. They of course caught me squatting in their yard, covered from head to toe in sticky goop. I still remember the look on the neighbor’s face that conveyed the question: “What the Fuck?”

I also have a memory of making sugar sandwiches. That’s right, two pieces of bread filled with about an inch of white sugar.

There was also a time when I would keep cake mix in my room and would eat it raw.

My days as a shoplifter had me pocketing 15 candy bars at a time and eating them all.

I was an addict from an early age. I think it may have been due to heredity; I come from a family of sugar heads. It is an addiction that helps me to understand why smokers have such a hard time quitting or why crack heads will end up in rehab time and time again.

To my mothers’ credit, we were not allowed to eat sugar cereals, except when we visited my grandparents we could eat captain crunch. The jagged edges of the sharp cereal squares cut the shit out of your mouth, but we did not care, because it was filled with sugary goodness.

I do hate this addiction. I have experimented with most drugs, but never got hooked. I used to smoke when I drank and could smoke a whole pack one night and wake up the next day not even craving another one. I like a good cocktail, but don’t drink unless out with friends. I find sex addictions interesting, but alas, I don’t have one. It is just this one little substance made naturally from nature’s earth that has me by the throat.

I can’t go a day without thinking about candy, or cookies or hostess ho ho’s. I cannot keep any sugary snacks in the house, because I will eat them. I am not an overeater, but if there is a candy bar in the house, all I will think about during dinner is when I can get my hands on the chocolate.

Halloween is my favorite holiday. I will have to buy the candy for the trick-or-treaters the day of or there will not be any left to hand out at the door. I will have to turn off all the lights and hide out in shame.

Sasha is trying to quit smoking right now with the aid of the Nicotine Patch and medication that will help calm his anxiety. I know he has a hard road ahead of him. Is there such a thing as a Sugar Patch?

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14 Comments on “HISTORY OF AN ADDICT”

  1. Megin Says:

    If there IS a sugar patch – I want it! And a caffeine patch. And a carbohydrate patch. And…you get the idea.

  2. cocoabean Says:

    I would buy that sugar patch… it is truly a hard addiction to beat, because so many things have sugar in them..

  3. Becky Says:

    Good luck. That’s a tough road, esp. with the hub and his quitting program, too. Perhaps you can find strength in each other — or use each other as a verbal/emotional punching bag when the going gets tough! But seriously, you’re both doing great things to ensure the fact you’ll both be around for your kid for a long, long time.

  4. Andria Says:

    Good luck beating sugar. I am currently trying to break the strangle hold Diet Coke has on me, and it’s hard.

  5. For-Tart Says:

    I have a sweet tooth as well. I’ve already had two cookies and there is half a pie at home that is on my radar. HELP!

  6. urbancadence Says:

    Well… look at it this way, there are far worse things that you could be addicted to! You hear about Narcotics Anonymous, Alcoholics Anonymous, and Sex Addicts Anonymous… but never a Sugar Anonymous!

    Or, you could try this… and let me know if it works for you, ‘cos I’m really curious:
    http://www.googobits.com/articles/p2-1387-renew-your-body-with-bathtime-bliss.html

    As for Sasha, I’ve had quite a few friends with AMAZING success with Chantix. This one guy I know has smoked since he was 16 (he’s now 40), and once he went on Chantix, he hasn’t had a single cigarette in 6 months (and counting). I’ve heard other success stories as well… seems very promising!

  7. Mindy Says:

    Good luck to you both! “You can doooo iiiiiitttttt!” (Picture Tony Little encouraging you!)

    Perhaps for you, you can replace your “bad” sugars with “good” sugars. In my quest for weight loss, I created a rule for myself – if I wanted something like a cookie (or three), I had to eat a piece of fruit first (or a cup of grapes). Most of the time, it satisfied my sweet tooth and I didn’t want the cookie. Sometimes though I still wanted a cookie, so I would have one. Usually I would just have one though and not three (or a whole sleeve of cookies).

    With smoking, I smoked for close to 10 years, from age 11 until I was 20. I was severely emotionally addicted. I used Zyban (aka Wellbutrin) to quit. It will be 7 years in November. I still want a cigarette almost every day, but I don’t give in. Sasha can do it – he has the cutest reason in the world to quit now!

  8. LJ Says:

    Yes – I got Twitter going. How do I add you?

  9. LJ Says:

    Addictions – we all have them in some form or other. Some are more difficult to kick. Some deserve some moderation. Which choice one makes – quit or moderation – is the key.

  10. madwag Says:

    I took the tablets that Sasha is taking…that is the only thing that got me to quit smoking… they really work.
    Addiction sucks… I have my own vices…. just as dangerous as sugar and smoking… I like to drink alcohol… but over here most people don’t see it as a huge problem… it is acceptable to drink a lot … anyway a lot more than I thought was in America

  11. Kim Says:

    I’m so sorry about your brother! You are so brave in trying to avoid the same thing, being as you are such a sugar-head, and love it so much. I understand how hard it is to give something up… I’m so sorry. (Maybe you can find a substitute to keep your mind off it… maybe try sex-addiction again!) 🙂

  12. Kristen Says:

    CLEARLY we are twins separated at birth. Darren doesn’t like sugar, or he’ll get a craving and satisfy it with a snack-sized Snickers bar. Even with gastric bypass surgery, I could totally eat an entire container of cake frosting (it would just take longer now) by myself. I got Darren a gourmet mint chocolate bar for his birthday because he told me he used to love eating them back in the day. IT IS STILL UNEATEN. His birthday was almost a month ago. I can’t even fathom the willpower it would take for me to not even open the candy bar to take a bite, and he just leaves it there, day after day, and lets it taunt me.

  13. Desirée Says:

    I am so sorry to hear diabetes has cought up with you brother. I hope he’s alright and will be able to manage it with diet and exercise. I’m still not quite over my recent scare, so I have also purged sugar from my life. This doesn’t include expensive high cocoa% chocolate, of course. But yeah, I do really, really try eating healthily and have done since I got pregnant with Raven. Now, I have to work on my portion sizes…

  14. Eleanor Says:

    Good luck with your addiction, and thanks for all the support with my recent ordeal. ((((hugs))))


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