It took all of my powers not to stroke it.

I just rode the elevator with a lovely young woman who had the most luxurious head of thick, long blond hair that smelled of apples & roses.

Last night my baby slept from 5:30pm to 7:30 am! And during a raucous thunderstorm no less!!

I am totally going to go to @wholefoods today! Twitter works!

Twitter is like that abusive boyfriend that you just can’t help going back to time and again, even after he gives you a black eye.

The guy was wearing a dress, too!

Bank robbery, high speed chase, stand-off and shoot out right near where I work. woot!

Back at work after 11 days off with the baby. I am both saddened and relieved.

Life can be really fucking hard.

I am going to an outdoor wedding tomorrow, the predicted hottest day of the year so far, and I am wearing 100% black! I am a dumb bitch.


OIL FOUND ON MARS!!!!!!!!!!! Just kidding. but lord help us if they do find some there…

It’s nacho time! Kind of like Hammer time, but with less cheese.

My youth is truly dead now that I am consistently in bed by 10pm every night. BOO HOO!

Yamma yamma yamma!

I just ate my weight in cheese.

I really don’t like the term: Fun Bags.

Somehow I am totally sick this weekend. and the baby has bright green snot. yeeeea!

I am not at work today. Hahahahahahhh hahahahaha tee hee hahah wee hahaha woo woow woo! ha ha ha ha hahaha ahahaha hahah heeee!

My hair is driving me crazy. I don’t own a barrett so I am using a binder clip to hold it out of my face.

I feel absolute and complete indifferent to EVERYTHING right now.

I have the house to myself and 100 hours of TiVo to catch up on. It is not even 10pm & yet I can’t stay awake. BOO!

The letter Q should be toward the end of the alphabet near X or Z.

The new M. Night Shyamalan movie totally sucks it hard. Oh god, what a horrible piece of shit. Environmental feel good movie of the year.

Should I go see the new M. Night Shyamalan movie tonight by myself or is that weird?

Oops, I meant SPANX.

I just bought some spank. The shame…

Third day in a row the sun is out in Seattle. Stop the presses!

Waiting for him to GET UP so we can go to brunch and I am freaking STARVING! Might have to have pre-emptive cheerios…

I am having a whole new relationship with my earwax!

A man that was sitting outside eating soup has a bald spot that is naturally receding in the shape of a star!

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  1. pantrypuff Says:

    Oh yes. The binder clip for hair. A classic, but somehow fresh.

  2. Kristen Says:

    OOOOH. See, I didn’t get the tweet about the girl in the elevator. All I saw was, “It took all of my powers not to stroke it.”

    Now it makes so much more sense. Fshew.

  3. Cat Says:

    “It’s nacho time! Kind of like Hammer time, but with less cheese.”
    I shall quote this again & again.

  4. sbellem Says:

    Girl I LOVE my Spanx!!!!!!!!!!!

  5. Desirée Says:

    Happy 4th of July and happy birthday to your brother. Hope he enjoys his frozen smile!

  6. kathy Says:

    Have you heard about steroid use in mid-life? It’s supposed to make you feel younger.

  7. Kim Says:

    I hate the term ‘fun bags’ too… But I love cheese!!

    I am going to go eat MY weight in cheese now, in your honor!!!

  8. madwag Says:

    coolness… i’m off to twitter now…thx

  9. poopiebitch Says:

    Yet again, THIS is why I love you.

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