5 years old: Screaming at the neighborhood kids, calling them “monkey face, monkey face” repeatedly as they stand at the edge of our driveway. I had a mindful moment and remember thinking: “what am I doing? This is spastic behavior.”

10 years old: Playing spin the bottle with my friends, who just happened to be all girls and only one boy.

12 Years old: Crawling for a mile through the sewer system of our small town, because the boys across the creek asked us to. Only one of my friends came with us, the other had a fit of claustrophobia, so we left her behind.

16 years old: Visiting my sister in San Francisco with my friend Lara. We took the Metro bus to Powell Street & just hung out. I had a pocket of change and for some reason I started throwing pennies at Lara. Homeless men began scrambling for the change and I felt a dumb bitch. Minutes later I was standing at the bus stop looking at the map. A man started pointing at me and shouting: “pookpookpook”. I then realized that I was standing in a pile of vomit.

18 years old. Walking around Flushing NY with the 8 year old girl I was babysitting. I recognized a man walking towards us; it was one of the boys that I had crawled through the sewer with years earlier. I freaked at the strange odds of meeting him again, so far away from home. He was on his way to the Jehovah’s Witness Watchtower headquarters in Brooklyn where he had been living.

21 years old: spending new years in a pub in County Cork Ireland, realizing that as much as it looks like chocolate, I don’t like Guinness.

25 years old. My Dad came to spend the day with me in an effort to distract me from my recent terrible heartbreak. He took me to the Rosicrucian Egyptian Museum in San Jose to see some Mummies.

32 years old. Walking arm and arm with my Mom on the beach in Fort Bragg. This would be the single most important moment of my life.

33 years old. Floating in the ocean in Hawaii in the middle of the night; looking at the black of the sky while submerged in the darkness of the water. Knowing that I could see the stars in space, but they could not see me.

36 years old. Typing this out while the sun shines on a lovely Saturday afternoon; it is time to log off and make things happen.


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8 Comments on “FROM MARCH 2006”

  1. Desirée Says:

    Brilliant entry!

  2. yankeechick Says:

    Woman, this is awesome! **hugs**

  3. madwagy Says:

    cool entry

  4. For-Tart Says:

    Will you elaborate on the single most important moment of your life?

  5. theskyisfallingin Says:

    For-Tart: My Mom had just been diagnosed with terminal cancer & we shared a beautiful moment on that beach together. She died a few months later.

  6. teranika Says:


  7. webmiss Says:

    I love this little inside glimpse into the pre-blog Cloudy. I think everyone has those “what am I doing? This is spastic behavior.” moments. I know I can put my hand up and say that!

  8. Kim Says:

    Oh that is beautiful!! I love this story. You are so good at writing.

    (I think I can finally post a comment if I use my home-computer, not work… if this works)

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